When Should We Start Putting Limits On Our Children?


Limits are necessary for the education of the little ones. However, knowing how and when to put them is also very important.

Here is a little illustration by this membership management software; When we buy a little climbing rose bush and plant it next to the fence of our garden, we fasten it to the fence by tying its twigs to stay erect and grow in the right direction. If we do not, the young rose will grow with its branches fallen on the ground, since they are tender and still have no strength to sustain. However, over time, we will remove those guides and fasteners, as the rose bush will grow strong, and there will come a time when it will hold itself to the fence.

This explanation helps us understand the concept of scaffolding. A term that explains the need for guides or “scaffolding” that children have at the beginning and that over the years must be withdrawn, little by little, because they can fend for themselves and will have internalized the norms and values that we have transmitted to them.

Therefore, the question is to set limits on our children, yes or no? Boundaries are necessary, and they prevent our children from disrespecting other people and carrying out risky behaviors for themselves. But not only do they serve that: they are essential for them to feel safe and secure.

When there are no clear limits, children do not know what is expected of them, since there is no clear guide to follow.

When To Start Educating?

Other recurring questions that parents ask are: When should we start educating them? Isn’t it still very early?

However, from birth, without even realizing it, we begin to put limits on our children. It is natural. And necessary for them.

Many parents will be thinking,” but I tell him not to touch something, and just when I tell him he wants to touch it more,” it is normal. Children at these ages take it all as a game, just like childcare software programs, and besides, they are learning to set their own limits!

That is why it is so important to be consistent with the rules and especially with the body language we use so that they realize that we are not playing. There are a series of nonverbal cues that accompany verbal communication that is very important, such as the tone of voice, the severity, the firmness with which we transmit a norm and the attitude with which we do it, our son needs to understand that you can’t do something.

When Does Our Child Begin To Internalize The Rules?

Many parents feel somewhat frustrated when they conclude that they are like a scratched disk, that is, they are always repeating the same rules to their children. When do children begin to internalize the rules as their own? When do they stop misbehaving for fear of punishment?

Education requires time and patience. Think of ourselves, our customs, and manners. How difficult it is for us to change them, even doing our part. And, sometimes, we want them to learn it at first. They will need many “repetitions,” many “mistakes,” and many attempts to learn and internalize desirable behaviors.

On the other hand, we don’t just educate parents. Educate society, school, grandparents, other children (check out this childcare enrollment forms). With the development of socialization, our child will begin to receive the education of these socially desirable norms and values not only from the family but from other development contexts.

The child needs a clear guide to follow and a path wide enough to develop fully.